Norms are a tricky concept to analyze on a level that transcends states and countries. I am not “well traveled” so I have no way of knowing whether the behaviors I believe fall into norms are purely American, or if they can be seen in other cultures. That being said, there are several instances I encounter everyday that I would classify as behavioral norms, many of which I actively take part in.
For the sake of this blog entry, I used the example of holding doors to explain norm compliance within myself, possibly projected to societal compliance. So while reading this entry, keep the “door holding” example in-mind if my statements seem confusing.
It’s my perception that back in the good old days “when the air was clean and the sex was dirty, and not the other way around”, men held doors for women all the time. To an extent this norm is still seen today, mostly while watching couple out on dates, but it extends beyond a kind act done only for someone you know. When entering a building, say Posvar Hall, and I know there’s someone trailing closely behind me, I will not stop, hold the door, and let the person behind me pass through before entering myself. Rather, knowing someone is behind me, I walk a little slower going through the door, and hang onto the door a little longer so the person behind me can walk through with relative ease.
I tend to believe that my behavior, in general, is very much governed by social norms whether the action the norm leads me to take actually aids my own interest or detracts from my interest. Raised in a Christian household with a family that went to church every Sunday, I find it hard to detach many of the norms I exhibit from the lessons I learned in church and Sunday school even though I don’t make it to church as often as I used to. Not exclusive to Christianity, I think all religions create a set of behaviors that are incorporated into society, more or less, and there are many similarities between religions that seem to create similar norms throughout cultures. Religion is a producer of several norms but not exclusively the norm producer.
Back to the point, I think that there are a large number of behavioral norms that I comply with for reasons that do not directly reflect my interests. I will not deny that I follow some norms because of reciprocity, no matter how small the probability of my action being reciprocated. I enjoy doing nice things for people, such as holding a door, and I appreciate when people do similar things for me, but I would still do it even if my act wasn’t reciprocated. So yes, to an extent this norm is in my self interest but not exclusively. There are other norms which have been codified in law, such as those against stealing, robbing, murdering, that I chose not to do because of my acceptance of norms and moral scope, not necessarily for my own interest; I could be less in debt if I simply took what I wanted without paying for it.
Creeco’s Observed Societal Norms:
- Silence, no chanting, when an athletic player is “down” on the playing surface, injured. Clap for the injured player as he/she get up, walk off, or are taken off the playing surface. (Norm Violators: Duke University)
- Giving-up your seat for an elder on the bus
- Saying “bless you” after someone sneezes
- Raising hand before talking in class
4 comments:
I, too, hold doors for people. I used to actually hold the door open and wait for other people to pass through, because that's what my parents both have always done for other people. However, I'm a girl, and I'm from Miami, which has its own unique brand of sexism. I gave up the holding-and-waiting method (and switched to the wait-until-the-person-is-at-the-door-so-it-doesn't-slam-in-their-face-but-don't-actually-let-them-go-first method) after I ended up in several rather tense standoffs with men. I couldn't figure it out at first, and kept simply muttering things about Miami-dwellers being incredibly rude, until my best friend, who is a first-generation Korean-American and therefore not new to sexism, explained that it was because the men were offended by my holding doors for them. They're supposed to hold doors for me, she explained, and I had somehow cast doubt on their manliness. Which is just about the silliest thing I've ever heard. The other options were to either wait until said man reached the door so he could hold it open for me, which seems a tad bizarre, or just walking through the door and letting it slam into the man's face. After being glared at for holding doors, I often wished I HAD let the door slam in their face. I would like to point out that other women usually smile and say "thank you" if I've held the door open for them. Meh.
First of all... nobody likes Duke and you've given just another reason to dislike them. Thank you for that.
Also, I thought you made a good point when you mentioned "American norms". I think there are universal norms (the no killing, stealing thing) but then also norms that are specific to regions and what have you. For example, here in Pittsburgh I have a lot of european friends. It took me a while to get used to the whole "double kiss" thing for a greeting. For them, its the norm. Its what you do. For me it was like "do you start on the left side or the right side? Do you make direct contact or is it sort of a grazing thing?" But now I'm used to greeting these friends in such a fashion. However, when I greet an American friend, they'd look at me all funny if I went in for a "double kiss".
In the same vein, there also seems to be the norm of not saying hi to people you only sort of know (i.e. from a mutual class) even though you both know you recognize each other. For the most part, people seem to be content with these fronts of indifference, that is until they are forced to acknowledge each other's presence. I know plenty of people who will walk within the same 5 feet of another person whom they know they know and whom they know knows them, but neither will utter a word or a glimmer of recognition until they are forced to interact. This usually happens at doors, when the person can choose to either walk faster so as to get through the door without having to hold it for the other person or hold the door open for the other person, thus acknowledging that the other person exists and make awkward small talk for 3 seconds. All this social discomfort does seem a bit unnecessary, doesn't it?
Other places that force these types of awkward conversations occur include elevators, being stuck next to someone on the bus, standing behind them in line, or at the sink in the bathroom. All in all, strange behavior if you as me...but we are all guilty of it.
I am very guilty of that. If I see someone I know, I try my darnedest to act like I have no idea they are there. I have no idea why that is. 99% of the time, it's someone I actually like, so I have no real reason to avoid them. I think I really just don't like to have to come up with interesting, witty stuff to talk about.
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